Back In (From) The (US)SR

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Has a trip across the pond tapped a well of creativity hitherto hidden in mediocrity? How long can I get away with saying "I'm having a bit of a career change" without looking like a prick? Can American television news cover any story without a 'human-interest' angle? Is it ok to be only tanned from the elbow down, on the neck and have a red nose? Is America (or at least the East Coast) 'better' than the UK? Did a rat take a shit in my toilet while I was away?

These questions and more (some you'd never think of, most you'd never ask and all you couldn't care less about) will be answered here soon.

Yep.

4 comments:

Jasper Goodballoon said...

Two weeks in Uncle Sam's Cabin and all we get is that? Christ compels me to call you a blaggard!

Morrissey's left nipple said...

To answer your questions:

1) I doubt it.
2) It doesn't matter; you lost all credibility long ago son.
3)No
4)Yes
5)No, they're both as god-awful as each other.

Welcome back!

Andy said...

Hello Mozza's Left Nipple - you're right on everything else, but did a rat shit in my toilet or not?

Andy said...

Oh, and a fair point from Mr Goodballoon, but I call you a blaggard sir, as I believe The 'Paunch has been silent since last month.