Oh Bugger. GG, BB & PR

In my limited experience and from my self-professed understanding of Public Relations I reckon I can spot a balls-up from about 5 miles.

So, an attempt to humanise yourself in front of the great British public and it's shameless press has great potential of fallflatonitsfaceability whoever you are.

And if you're a symbol, one way or the other, of opposition to a right fuck-up of a system that said public and press accept unquestionably, you're odds of success are even less.

So with this in mind Mark Oaten was foolish to stand as Lib Dem leader when there's a prossie and a tabloid chequebook knocking about.

But George beats Mark hands down at this particular task.

When the cherry on top of two weeks of cats, leotards and shadow boxing is a 20 minute interview with an alleged torturer and rapist your chances of public acceptance are bollocked.

Whatever the ins and outs (and there are ins and outs, regardless of the hypocritical, braying press) it's not looking too good for Galloway on the PR front. He's going to be back exactly where he was before going in the place, if not a lot worse off.

And there isn't really a punchline - although the Telegraph has just lost it's appeal against him so maybe he'll have the last laugh in the end.

Uday certainly didn't.

Oaten Pulls Out Over Rent Boy


It's all gone a bit Jenny Tong for Mark. And he was a sure fire winner aswell.


Oh, and if you thought I'd forgotten the most important political issue of our time, I refer you to the statement Mark Steel made two days ago. Here.

Neil To The King

"I make this stand with great reluctance, partly because Tony is my dear friend. Partly because I've got great admiration for him as the leader of my party and my country. But the day was reached - which I hoped would never come - when there was an issue of such profound and lasting significance that would affect not just our generation but others, on which it was important to make my opposition known".

Iraq? Iran? Terrorism Bill? Tuition Fees?
Trade Union Law? NHS Reform?
Clause 4? Nuclear Power?

Another cock of the highest order who turns on the 'left-wing firebrand' act when the guilt pangs are stopping him sleeping. Happy to sit through 9 years of neo-liberal bullshit but can't live with the trauma that academic selection causes school kids.

Not a fucking word about the same kids who are swept up into the Army and merrily sent to die in Iraq by his 'dear friend'.

I think I'm going to nurture a tumor and go off and die in a small cave somewhere.

Anything to avoid spending day after day mulling over that either these spineless pricks or the other spineless pricks will always be in government.

They were there all my grandfathers life, all my Dads so far and there's no real sign that I'm ever going see any significant change.

Brilliant. Happy New Year.

GG, BB & The Heebeegeebees

The next six bloody months arguing about this but thankfully we've got the self-destruction of the Liberal Democrats to take our minds off George in his dressing gown:

Old Charlie's heartfelt statement yesterday was a brilliant piece of political agenda-shifting blackmail. Back pushed against the wall he showed more skill in an hour than months of the rubber daggered assassins that want his scalp but thought they'd get it by asking nicely.

Like a boozy uncle who's family have had enough of Special Brew cans under the sofa, pissy mattresses in the spare room and wandering eyes over the grandkids he turns the table when he knows he's pushed his luck one last time.

"But the kid's love me. You'll only confuse them. What about those tickets to Euro Disney?"

Thus with probably his last political gasp he heaved himself into the higher echelons of Parliamentary leaders. Just like Thatcher and Blair he's going to go down fighting and bring the whole party down around him.

And while the family falls apart Mum's new friend from night-class is going to be having little Britney over the back of the Sony WEGA before you can say 'compassionate conservative anyone?'.

Maybe the best place to be is smoking cigars with Rula Lenska and watching 80's pussy lips after all.

There Is A God

...and he watches the Oscars.

Worth staying up for?

Live At Last

'Making 5 minutes seem like 40 since 1976'

Sun 05.02.06
The Camden Tup, Greenland Place, NW1 0AP

Wed 22.02.06
The Fitzroy Tavern, Charlotte Street, W1T 2LY

Thurs 09.03.06
Downstairs At The Kings Head, Crouch End, N8 8AA

One More Down...

A slightly belated Happy New Year to anyone paddling out there in the Harbour.

I'm sure I should be full of cynical bile following the festive season, which is after all a load of bollocks of the highest order. But fairy tale 'religious' stories and Capitalist orgies aside I rather like the Christmas season.

Seeing my family, getting out of the city, being fed for free, watching The Two Ronnies and Fred Dibnah for days, receiving (and even in some cases giving) presents, spending HMV vouchers and the relief of getting back to the city. All topped off by a few drinks on New Years Eve.

And so, here I am back at the desk, trying to figure out a plan for 2006. So far I've been drunk once, tipsy twice, cried very briefly and been out of the house only to drive the car and get milk. I'm probably about £700 down since this time last month and I'm listening to The Best Of Joe Cocker. So nothing's really changed at all.

A few blog related resolutions however:

1. Don't end posts with 'Help me...'
2. Actually write more than a line and a photo every fortnight.
3. Do something real that's worth writing about.
4. Learn how to finish posts on a punchline...